Dear Maka

Dear Maka,

It has been a long time since we talked; a lot has happened since then, much more than I would have thought possible. The reality of things is always stranger than fables.

I am in an extraordinary world right now. You’ve heard of Pumziko? That’s where I’m residing.  I got in a few days ago, so I am still fumbling around. I’m sure I will have much more to talk about this place the next time I write. Pray that I can survive the new abode. I intend to relocate here permanently; if my fate allows. You remember those days when I told you I was looking for liberation? Well, since then it’s been a whirlwind. The world can be so confrontational!! I have had some of the best times, and some of the most challenging. I never thought that I could be tried in this sense. I had checked myself in Mpito hotel. It is where I had been working from until someone told me that it was not the real deal. So two days ago, I checked into Pumziko. Going by the services I have been getting here, I think I am in the right place: the towels are fluffier, and the air con is just right. It’s a bit lonely though, there are not so many people as I would have wished, I don’t know if they are closed up in their rooms; there are not so many at the pool.

Maka, a lot has been going on in the world. It has been tearing me up. It is one of the reasons why I had to move here, to try and reconcile my thoughts. I want to do better than just have compassion for people who are going through upheavals. I don’t want to always feel constrained and unable to be of service. I want to see how I can help without having cobwebs in my brain. I am looking for a way forward where I don’t have to be continually drawn in by sorrows, but that I can exude.  I want to know that in the toughest struggles, there is still a way to have hope.  I am looking for a sober mind.  Maka, I don’t want to despair again; at least not in the way that I did the last time I lost my means of subsistence.

You know Maka, they closed my shop again, took some of the stock and detained my assistant at the Kanju offices. Said I didn’t have all the papers required for my type of business. I hadn't  bought one licence yet. Cash!!... Maka. I begged them to give me a month, then I would have recouped enough money to pay for it. They refused, said I was violating the council by-laws trading without sufficient licenses. You know my container had been held up at the port for six months, and it was only released last week? I only sold the clothes for three days before they came. I thought that God had finally answered my prayers when I started selling, and now this. I have been going to the county offices to implore them to reconsider. Wapi! It has been falling on deaf ears. It made me feel real bad. It was like taking away my dignity just when I was trying to get it back. Having that container was one of my highs and not having a means of income devastated me. Maki, I had to sit down and reconsider. You know this is one of the chains that I had earlier told you? The shackles of having my peace fixated on a particular item?  Yes, I know that it feels good to achieve, it’s awesome to live in that cloud, but I had to reconsider Maki. I was down once again: God willing I anticipate to live for many years and how many times will I be disappointed? Many. Will I keep sinking into the doldrums? No, I don’t want that. I am just tired Maki. I have been down this road too long.

Last Sunday, my sister told me about this young woman who earns a living by doing other people’s laundry. But that is not it. From her earnings, which you can imagine are not much, she provides lunch for dozens of children in the local public school. She has picked on children who struggle to afford a meal. Some of these kids used to faint because of hunger. She has so little, yet she gives so much. I think she has made her life bearable and better by being happy in the small things. Maka, with all that is going on right now, don’t you think taking it a bit easy is a big reward? Do you think that I can take it easy Maka? I think so Maka. I might not be feeding school children, but I believe there are more things to be done. Do you think that I can just relax in this Maka? Let me see how it goes here, I will sure keep you updated.

Always

Mwende